It’s easy to think that offering help is the best way to build trust in a relationship. But sometimes, the most meaningful way to build and strengthen connections is by asking for help. By showing vulnerability we are showing our humility and inviting others to engage, valued, and most importantly, needed.
A few weeks ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years. I had reached out to him several times, but he never responded. Eventually, I gave up. When I finally saw him, I asked why he hadn’t answered my messages. At first, he said he’d been busy, but after a bit of probing, he admitted the truth: he’d been struggling emotionally and loved me too much to burden me with his issues. That admission infuriated me. I told him, “Love me less and call me more often.” 😊 I also told him that he denied me the honor of listening to him. Which is true; by not asking for help, you are denying the other person of that honor.
This moment hit home. Too often, we hold back from asking for help because we don’t want to impose on others, thinking we’re protecting them. It’s a common misconception. But not reaching out creates distance, not closeness. Whether in friendships or professional settings, trust deepens when we allow others to support us. Asking for help demonstrates that we value others enough to let them in—it’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It sends the message: “I value you enough to let you in.”
In the workplace, this mindset shift can have profound effects. Leaders who ask for input or assistance create an environment of psychological safety where others feel comfortable doing the same. It builds a collaborative culture, where everyone recognizes that they are stronger together. Similarly, in friendships, asking for support sends a message: “I trust you enough to show you my imperfections.” Or said differently, “I am human”.
The fear of being a burden or appearing weak is common, but real trust is built when we let others be part of our struggles. Whether personal or professional, relationships flourish when both parties feel empowered to offer and seek help.
So, the next time you think about handling everything alone, pause. Consider reaching out—not as a last resort but as an intentional way to strengthen your connection. You might be surprised by the depth of trust and mutual respect that grows when you allow others to help carry the load. You may also find that your burden feels lighter after the conversation.
“Asking for help isn’t weak, it’s a great example of how to take care of yourself.” – Charlie Brown
Think about a time when you held back from asking for help—whether at work or in your personal life. What kept you from reaching out? This week, challenge yourself to reconnect with someone, not just to offer support but to ask for it. Let someone in on a struggle, no matter how small, and see what happens when you allow them to show up for you. Trust grows when we let others be part of our journey. What small step will you take today to build that trust?
Have a great weekend.
-Vijay